I can just picture a fashion nazi barking at me, “No pockets for you!” as he stares down at me forbiddingly and thrusts a pair of Gucci jeans in my general direction.

Not that I could afford Gucci jeans. But even the Democracy jeans I squeeze into each day only allow, at the most, four fingers into the front pocket up to the knuckles but no further.

What is it with women not being allowed to have real pockets in our clothes? We love them. Pockets are wonderful!

On rare occasions, when I have tried on a dress and discovered it had pockets, I was thrilled! I think I have bought every dress with pockets I have tried on so far. It is a lovely feeling to hide my hands into the folds of a skirt or to be able to carry something on me that is larger than the size of a tic-tac.

I even saw a wedding dress with pockets and thought it was genius while the guys around me asked, “Why would you need pockets for your wedding?” Hellloooo? One word – Kleenex.

And why do we need to justify our desire for pockets? That seems silly, right? Do we require guys to justify cargo pants? No. Although I have to admit they do go overboard with those sometimes. I once saw a photo of a guy with what looked like everything imaginable in his cargo pants pockets, including a puppy. Really? That is quite possibly the very definition of going overboard. (Unless he was about to get on the subway in New York. In that case, he’s a genius.)

And why do we need to justify our desire for pockets? Do we require guys to justify cargo pants? No. Although I have to admit they do go overboard with those sometimes. I once saw a photo of a guy with what looked like everything imaginable in his cargo pants pockets, including a puppy. Really? That is quite possibly the very definition of going overboard.

But the point is they can go overboard. They can use all the pockets because they have them.

All clothing items for boys, guys, and men have an abundance of pockets. In their shirts, pants, shorts, jackets…they have pockets everywhere! It is insanely practical and useful.

If my clothing has pockets, it can’t hold a quarter, let alone anything of practical use like a cell phone or a wallet, forcing me to either stuff them in a back pocket or carry a purse. Both options leave me more vulnerable to theft, which is – let’s all admit it – just not fair.

I have even had pants that look like they have pockets, but the manufacturer sewed them shut. They are no-use “pockets.” All show, no real pockets. Yes, I understand they might ruin the beautiful lines of some clothes (no one wants pocket lines), but why even have the illusion of pockets? Just leave the faux pockets off.

Then, one day last year, I found the most amazing pants! Truly, it was a revelation. I wandered into a clothing store for a sale and found slacks with a cloth tie that not only has pockets; it has deep pockets. No joke! I could fit my entire hand up past my wrists into those pockets.

What did I do after I recovered from the shock? I bought them of course! They are one of my favorite pairs of pants. Granted, my butt looks a bit saggy in them, and they are a little bit short, making it look like the hems are afraid of reaching my ankles. Plus, the width of the pant leg isn’t doing my thighs any favors. But I still love them.

I wore them to work. “Look at these pockets!” I happily shared with my coworkers. Mostly men; they didn’t fully grasp how awesome this was. Forgivable since they themselves do not suffer from pocketless clothes.

But the women nearby were astonished and impressed, as they should be because they fully understand the frustrations of having little to no pockets.