Illustration is of a part unicorn part aunt with sunglasses on a pretty pink background.

To be an aunticorn!

Part aunt, part unicorn, 100% awesome!

#0027

I have a niece! At long last, I’m officially an aunt. I’m thrilled and terrified at the same time.

What kind of aunt will I be? Hopefully, the warm, understanding aunt who is always available for shopping trips and has sound advice about relationships and makeup.

You know the kind—good hugs, supportive, kind, friendly, and great to hang out with.

But I may very well be that crazy, quirky aunt. Lovable but in a distant, “I see her at Christmas” kind of way. The one who – when she becomes a teenager – she’ll say she knows me and might possibly confess some blood relation but will not be seen with me outside family events.

No need to fear. Because I have twelve years before the teenage phase, right? Twelve years before she is concerned with what people think and Instagram popularity, where everything and everyone in your life has to look fab 24-7.

Thank God…or the universe…or whatever.

It is nice to have some time when she and I can be goofy together. Silly faces and peekaboo. A few years of dancing about in tutus and talking about unicorns and rainbows. Because I can do that! Oh, and stickers! Gotta love stickers.

So it should be ok, right?

I will probably need to watch a youtube video on “new” math at some point so I can help with homework. Maybe even invest in American Girl in preparation for future presents.

But I can do this.

I can be the world’s coolest aunt!

Ok, maybe not “coolest.” That is dating myself a bit. Awesome doesn’t work either. Spectacular just sounds like I’m trying way too hard.

And to be clear, I’m not her only aunt to choose from. She has several who are all really amazing, experienced aunts. Also, they live really close to her compared to me. I am 2,896 miles away (Can you tell I Googled it?)

So you understand the pressure and conundrum.

How do I be the world’s greatest…yeah, that might work…world’s greatest aunt has a nice ring to it. Ok, then. How do I be the world’s greatest aunt from all the way over here?

I’ve got the love. That was easy. One look at her bright, intelligent blue eyes and cute dimpled face, and I was hooked. I look forward to every post in Tinybeans as if it were breaking news. Drop everything. There is a new photo! Squealing and smiles are definitely involved.

I can’t resist showing her picture to anyone with even the slightest interest and even to a few people who could care less.

It is wonderful to know she is here. Her arrival is the bright part of the entire year.

I sent her ultra-soft, natural clothes, a song, and voice recordings to let her know I am thinking of her. Although, given she is brand new to the world, she probably won’t remember any of it. But I will. And it makes me all kinds of happy to be a part of her life.

While shopping, I find myself strolling through the baby aisle. I try to resist the cuteness of the adult-like baby shoes (“she will just grow out of them in a few weeks,” my sister explains regularly) and the cuddly stuffed animals (“she already has too many,” she says).

So what do I do?

From a distance, I need to figure out how to be her greatest aunt. It is not necessarily a competition. I just want to make sure I’m in the running. No neglect from me!

Perhaps I can transform into an aunticorn! Part aunt, part unicorn. I found it on the internet when I was googling mileage. I took a not-so-quick detour to Pinterest and found myself scrolling and scrolling and scrolling; until, hey, look! Check out the aunticorn!

Granted, becoming an aunticorn is taking things a bit far, especially since (as far as I know) there is no way to genetically fuse myself with a fantastical creature.

How do I be the world’s greatest aunt? Perhaps I can transform into an aunticorn! Part aunt, part unicorn. Granted, becoming an aunticorn is taking things a bit far, especially since (as far as I know) there is no way to genetically fuse myself with a fantastical creature. Darn.

Darn.

But if I could—for my smart, talented, beautiful niece—I certainly would.

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Honey Madison

  • MiniPost #0031

    Forget Plan A. I’m on Plan F, which comes with a complimentary bottle of vodka.

    #goals #GoalSetting #LifeLessons

  • MiniPost #0002

    Just about anything, if it is shiny, I’ll be attracted to it. I won’t buy it of course. That would be impractical and a house full of reflective objects would be too much stimulation for my highly sensitive self. But if I’m in a store and I see sparkles, I’m all happy smiles and sunshine.