I believe I’m going to begin by opening another bottle of wine ;0)

My very first treadmill! It took three men and me (and let’s be honest, I was more of a witness than actual help) to get it off the truck and into the garage, but now it is all mine. I will try it out…first thing tomorrow.

“I’m claiming you as a dependent. I get more money that way,” Handsome declared. “What?” I asked. He politely repeated himself and then added, “Oh, and you’re disabled,” before closing the door.

The lunch of champions! (Or just really busy people)

Maybe from the munchies. Too many oreos. Death by doublestuff. #sillythoughts #maybenot

And, while we may not always understand or like each other, we can’t deny that we are all in this life thing together so we might as well get along if we can, fight if we must and enjoy the ride.

Walked into Powells Bookstore (the holy Mecca for book lovers everywhere) and actually thought, “I don’t need a basket.” Ha! What was I thinking?!

Laying in bed staring at the ceiling, contemplating life, God, and donuts (not necessarily in that order :0) #seriousthoughts #theimportantthings

There is something strangely satisfying about seeing Valentine’s Day stuff on sale

Life is not perfect, and that is okay. That is what chocolate is for.

Overheard a woman in the grocery store talking on the phone, “I don’t know what you all are having for food but mama’s having wine.” yougogirl #mamalife #winetime

I saw this t-shirt that I should own and wear regularly. It says,”Don’t follow in my footsteps. I run into walls” and corners and tables and other inanimate objects.

Handsome and I are talking about getting a dog. With my luck, if I get a French Bulldog, she will have more Instagram followers than I do.

The Northwest is one of the few places where you can see a man in suit and tie get out of a mud splattered 4×4 extended-cab truck holding a briefcase.

Just found out the Lion King was based on Hamlet! How did I miss this?! I may have to give up my Shakespeare fan club card. #facepalm

I won second place for my bracket in our local pool! Not bad from my first time (I thought brackets are those little box like end I use in quotes sometimes). Handsome didn’t place. I expect to be sleeping on the couch for the forseeable future or at least until football season starts.

Eating at a fancy restaurant, I figure as long as I pay the bill, they won’t kick me out for using the wrong utensil or eating a little too loudly or wearing just jeans and a chambray shirt which is one size too big with a knot in the center to hide the bleach dot.

Wandered into a Forever 21, beguiled by a fuzzy, adorable white sweater. When I tried it on, I looked more like a polar bear than an attractive 21-year-old young woman. Prime example of false advertising, right? No, I’m not going to sue.

Why is it most beauty treatments make me feel like a mummy? Old and unable to move

Wearing my lovely fur lined Pottery Barn robe. Handsome takes one look at me and asks, “Is the winter storm upon us?” I’ve decided we watch too much Game of Thrones.

I’m at the Naked Winery trying a flight of wine: the Cougar Semi-Sparkling, the Fling Gerwurztramier, and the Bareback Sweet. I’m fully clothed…for now ;0)

A large, hairy, naked man walking about in the woods scaring people? Yeah, I totally believe there could be a Bigfoot. Completely possible. The real surprise is that there haven’t been more of them sighted.

I’m not making the bed. I’m on vacation. True laziness starts with an unmade bed :0)

Other women get fancy padlocks from their man to place on the a bridge in Paris, demonstrating their everlasting love. I get dared to lick the gum wall in Seattle.

I didn’t realize how much I talk with my hands until my Fitbit told me I achieved my daily goal and I hadn’t left my desk.

Dryer stops working and Handsome figures out how to get it working again, without costing us money, AND in time for laundry day. #thatsmyman #everydaylove

I’m the kind of person who, if the shopping cart is rolling away, calls after it. “Hey, Where are you going?” #crazytalk

It is going to be 106 degrees today, and I’m drinking a hot romano mocha with whipped cream. #mightbecrazy

Looking at a peanut butter chocolate mousse labeled dairy-free and gluten-free. “That is too free,” said the woman next to me. “Dessert shouldn’t be that free.” Preach it sister!

Forget Plan A. I’m on Plan F, which comes with a complimentary bottle of vodka. #goals

Handsome comes home and eats all the leftover Chinese food. #thebestrelationshipproblems #lovesisnoteasy

I love the magazine racks at Whole Foods! Not one Kardashian in sight. Blessed relief.

I anthropomorphize a bit too much. Handsome took a drink of my hibiscus tea, trying to eat one of the floating blackberries. “They probably don’t want to be eaten,” I said, watching him. He got one. I instantly gasped “Oh, no! Fred!” #mightbecrazy

“After you,” said Handsome to me, motioning for me to go down the stairs ahead of him. “You won’t see me pushing you from up here.” To be clear, I laughed when he said it. It is funny…sort of. But, seriously, if I die from a fall down the stairs… #yikes #lolmaybe

Why do we say roof of my mouth instead of my mouth ceiling? I burned my mouth ceiling makes way more sense.

Sometimes I think I should wear a sign or one of those large dog collars with big, bold letters that say, “Old and cranky—Approach at your own risk!”

Handsome and I were carving pumpkins together this morning. He explained that pumpkins are meant to scare away evil. Then, he said, a bit exasperated, “You are doing it wrong if you are giggling!” I guess my pumpkin just scared me silly ;0)

Watching The Quiet Place with Handsome. Handsome leaned over and whispered “Did you hear this was made by a librarian?” #faceslap #lol

At the grocery store, a woman stopped, threw up her hands in exasperation and declared, “Someone left their basket in the way.” Smiling, I grabbed the handle and said, “Don’t worry. It moves.” (saving the world one pissed off person at a time)

The glitter of the food world is—coffee grounds! (It makes life happy but also gets everywhere.) #coffee #love

“You’re not sharing the tv. I’m going to tell your mom on you!” I threaten (not very convincingly). Handsome responds, mimicking his mom’s voice, “I don’t care. Where are my grandkids?!” Dah, foiled.

“So what are you making,” I asked, looking at the saucepan on the stove. “Dessert,” said Handsome. “What kind?” No answer. “Is it a surprise? A surprise dessert.” He smiled and said, “Yes, and you are my guinea pig.” “At least tell me I’m a cute, fluffy guinea pig.” “Yeah, you are one of those cute guinea pigs, not one of those fucked up guinea pigs with the crazy hair.”

My neighbor has alarm set to play harp music…loudly. I’ve never envisioned breaking a harp over someone’s head until being forced to listen to the same four harp chords play over and over again for the past 40 minutes.

I was making a white chocolate mocha when it came time to sprinkle the cinnamon onto the whipped cream. I started shaking the can over the cream when I realized, it was black pepper!! (In my defense, they are both in similar tins). Fortunately, I caught it before my cream was covered in black. Added the cinnamon and it tastes okay, just got a bit of a bite to it :O) #lol #oops

Sitting next to my fireplace, looking around at the Christmas decorations I put up today. It took a while to get into the holiday mode, but I made it! It only took five boxes of decorations, four Christmas movies, rearranging everything three times, two breaks for food…and a parrr-tridge in a pear tree! (just kidding…there is no pear tree :0)

Just about anything, if it is shiny, I’ll be attracted to it. I won’t buy it of course. That would be impractical and a house full of reflective objects would be too much stimulation for my highly sensitive self. But if I’m in a store and I see sparkles, I’m all happy smiles and sunshine.

Mint.com categorizes counseling under “Alcohol & Bars.” They may have a point.

I think it is time I rename my espresso machine Wilson.

Something that seems traumatic today, may turn out to be no big deal tomorrow…I wish it was tomorrow.